How I know I live in Ghana

1. Water tastes better out of a bag…actually everything tastes better out of a bag.
2. I’ve gotten used to the 5am sermon from the preacher, equipped with a megaphone, outside my window.
3. Candle-lit bucket showers are pretty fun.
4. I sweat through one handkerchief a day.
5. When I rub my skin, I’m are guaranteed to come off with dirt on my fingers…even after I’ve showered.
6. A pineapple a day, keeps the malaria away.
7. My perfume is called “eau d’ DEET.”
8. The only way to wait in a line is to elbow my way through.
9. I spend 10 minutes trying to bargain a seller down 5,000 cedis…that’s 50 cents.
10. Lizard is the new squirrel.
11. The only road traffic on my morning runs are chickens and goats.
12. Now I only answer to “Oburni,” ok…sometimes I answer to “White lady.”
13. One of my favorite snacks is the white goo surrounding the coco beans in the coco pod.
14. Legroom in a tro-tro = euphoria.
15. I never use my left hand.
16. I start most my sentences with “please”, and end most of them with “God bless you.”

This was a poor attempt at being funny. Hopefully it will, at least get a smile.